first week of school :)

Welcome back to school. Praise a lot to The Lord, I’d been through the first week of my final semester, though, everything just went okay. The schedule of mine is little bit uncrowded cause of the blank space on Tuesday and Friday class.  so, it’s gonna good opportunity  to escape myself from the hectic student life on every weekend. well,  I love to be at home, so heaven. for this semester, I’m gonna through several subjects including neurobiology, animal behaviour, strategic management, HR study and indeed the most critical which is my final project. Even the least no of subject rather my last sems, but these all are the toughest one for sure. Whatever so, I’ve to maintain the same momentum of efforts upon them. *pftt*

I’m sort of interested about neurobiology study, as what the accordance of the introduction that I’ve been learnt last time, erm… but I guess, there is silver lining of difficulty behind it. indeed, that’s the reason why most of student did not afford to pass this subject at their first sits. hopefully, im not gonna be one of them, scary dude!!

My fyp is running good so far. maybe by next week I can start my first step  which is radiating process in UM. im so grateful because Allah lead me such an easy way for me, after complete several procedures, I  can start my project there. Alhamdulillah..but even so, I’m terrified when thinking about what’s gonna happen during the project or what if the project end up with failure or what if there is no responses during all entire the project. it’s holy crap for sure.  I hope that’s just my ridiculous imagination about my fyp well, maybe of too much worry about it and heavily thinking about ‘what if’ this and that.

I definitely love surprise .you know what, speechlessly, I was shocked about my papa’s bestfriend teach me in the class for strategic mgt subject. though,I’m sort of felt ashamed when he told everyone in the class about who is my dad. actually, I kind of secretive about my family or even about my privacy so I just put my sight down to the floor and  it turned me so blushing a sudden until the end of the class. it was an incredible day I bet. shiTT!!

off here...

kiss, eragdisbiasa.

it's a start

Take a step back. Fucking look at yourself. You are human. You are beautiful. You are so beautiful. And you can be anything. You can be everything. Do not hate everyone because someone broke your heart, or because your best friend betrayed you, or your father hit you, the kid down the street called you skinny, ugly, stupid, worthless. Do not concern yourself with things you cannot control. Cry when you need to, then let go when it’s time. Don’t hang onto painful memories just because you’re afraid to forget. Let go of things that are in the past. Forget things that aren’t worth remembering. Stop taking things for granted. Live for something. Live for yourself. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Do this over and over until you what it really is to love someone. Question things. Tell people how you really feel. Sleep under the stars. Create. Imagine. Inspire. Share something wonderful. Meet new people. Make someone’s day. Follow your dreams. Live your life to it’s full potential. Just live, dammit. Let go of all of the horrible in your life and fucking live. dont forget to be awesome. one day, when you’re old, look back with no regrets.

Hello 2011 & Farewell 2010

Aloha everyone!!

How are you guys doin? Hopefully, it’s always good. hey, it’s last Friday of 2010. So, this is the time for us to farewell the 2010 and be ready in gratefulness for the New Year. Unfortunately, I’m not so well today because of the slightly flu *AcUMM* and it signs me that I’m goin to get fever very soon. I guess all the pains would kiss away all sins that I’ve committed throughout this year, hopefully *evil grin*. 

2010 left me with Unforgettable moments, though, I not so remember and unable to recap every single part of each. Well, its serious forgetful era… :)

But I never forget the chaos in my friendship chapter when we fought and broke the relationship and ended up with three of us against a single lonely girl *OpSS!!*. Friendship mean everything for me, even it gives me least. When I rethink about that, it supposed not happen because it must be tough for her to stand alone even she’d mistaken and will be punished because of her ego. Maybe this is the tit for tat of her faults or maybe its just a sign from The Lord to lead us for someone whom insincere in our relationship. at first, we expected she could realize and do apologize by the right, but she might think that she’s right. I hate this feeling; it’s so unpleasant and tremendously painful. I hope we’re goin back like before through thick and thin together as friend.i miss all the moments we were together laught at nothing and people call us insane. i so miss it!!

My sista is pregnant and will be delivered the baby on April next year. As the accordance of scanning shows, I’m going to have a nephew.. yahoo!! I wish everything gonna be smooth and safe. 

Last week, I did celebrated my along, mama, epit and isya birthday. that was so happening.  As usual, we made it at secret recipe, having the dinner and small gathering. it’s been so long time ago I haven’t spend time with all my siblings since everyone has their own family to look after at and migrates from papa’s house, build new family like they have now. Whatever it takes I’m so grateful for having them around even we’re from moderate family but still cherish the happiness. Praise to Allah for all I’ve get.

White choc SR

that's your birthday guys!!

my FamiLy & me (right side)

My love story is sort of dramatic and ridiculously sucks. Sometime we were happy but other time we fought for the silly things. In awhile, I feel so loving him very much but other time I turned so monster *coy smile*. Maybe of the distance make we felt unease to be apart for long duration of time or maybe I’m just a little needy to wish him always be by my side. Now, I’m sure we’re over even he refused the fact so harsh. It’s maybe undeniable because maybe I was so mad at him at that moment thus make me pretty reckless stand for this decision. Whatever happens, I leave it to Allah, and I so hope everything’s gonna be better in time.

My Love story

I don’t like the idea of fYp (final year project). I did complete the proposal matter, and the result returned me such a vain attempt, though *sigh*. I have to work harder next semester to gain even better result since the project consist of six credit hour. That’s quite tough, dude. 

 **mY Mock deTerminatioNs**

Instead of having DSLR and travel abroad, I wish if there are something better await in the 2010, all my wishes will come true and i will be granted with blessing in everything I do. I also wish to be better person and be able to give good deeds to everyone.*wiNk*

Whatever it takes let bygone be bygone. Okay guys, I hope these all are enough. I wish you guys make this New Year as the starting point to move on better. So, never look back because whatever happened in the past makes you who are you now. so, then wave your hands to 2010, thus with no hesitate let's start the new chapter of life. Cheer guys!!

Happy New Year. Farewell 2010 & hello 2011!! Have a new fresh start everyone!

Tired of being tired

I don’t have idea why we keep arguing about even the smallest things. I hate when he turned to bossy and felt he was right in all ways. I hate when he yelled to me because of my wrongs. I hate when he turned so nice when asking me favours or he intended something to me. I hate him so much. I really am right now. I feel like I won’t back to him because he ridiculed himself to hurt me again and over again. i’m feeling terribly upset about our relationship like nothing can to do to work it out. I must take decision whether to move on or stay and give chance for many times I guess. if I bailed him, im not sure if I can go through myself alone plus next year is my final year, it would be unusual tougher. I’m terrified if I can't let him go by thinking of our golden memories in every single day of woe. I’m afraid of losing him when I can’t be myself in front of others but only him. I’m afraid that I’ve no one to cry at when I really need someone. It freaks me when I’m thinking I will be such a loner even there is many friends of mine around then I have to grin in  cry. maybe I can’t stand these in short time, then I will recover in time. it must be temporary insanity when I have to be alone for while. whatever it takes, I’ve really given up about us, about your lies, about your temper, about your fake, and everything about you. this time I should be firmer about my decision and never look back. I maybe forgive him but I really mean when I said, we’re definitely over.

I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of feeling empty inside. I’m tired of feeling worthless. I’m tired of feeling stuck. I’m tired of feeling crazy. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of yelling. I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of dreaming of a life I will never have. I’m tired of missing things. I’m tired of missing people. I’m tired of remembering. I’m tired of wishing I could start all over. I’m tired of not being able to just let go. I’m tired of faking it. I’m tired of being different. I’m tired of being angry. I’m tired of needing help. I’m tired of always wondering when God is finally going to let me be happy. Most of all, I’m just tired of being tired.

Allah, I wish u for blessing and strength, show me if I’ve wronged.

No money No marry

Peep 1 : I decide to get marry at 25.

Peep 2 : That’s too young peep, I think it’d be better older, maybe at 28. what do you think?

Peep 1 : Oh crap! 

What hell is wrong with number,dude? I’ve wondered why people so terrified talking about marriage in early age. if the monetary problem doesn't bother you, so what're you waiting for,right? Well, I do believe in destiny. If God asked me to get marry now, that will be fine for me. I believe whatever sake that God decided for us, it might has reasons. 

But honestly, I’m not game to hold any commitments yet, waking up early in every morning (I hate morning people) , cooking meals for breakfast plus lunch plus supper (kitchen is the scariest place I ever been), entertain hubby after working (my fav part..hehe), these all need huge sacrifice. But I don’t mind if I've destined that way. Talking about the young marriage this is no biggie, but there must some conditions apply, stability is the most important thing that must be considerated, in term of financial specially, the readiness to uphold responsibilities and the willingness to accept each other whether good or bad. Additional for my partner, he must has high patience level. Well, everybody had their annoyance stuffs.. :) So do I am..hehehe.. *Showleey HubbY*

I’m not so sure about marriage meaning actually. I am terrified too. Marriage is not only on piece of paper, everybody desires to stay together forever and ends up happily ever afta whateve it takes. *sigh* Amongst my schoolmate, one by one have already ended their single life. Maybe they were just so lucky to find their soulmate. Omg!! I can’t imagine what’s gonna happen if I am a wife for a man. it’ll disaster for sure. Breathless, I shouldn’t have that kinda thought. This is fcuking scary!!

Guys!! here’s one biggest secret every man must know, the prettiest and fabulous moment for a woman in her life is during the wedding’s day. if you don’t believe me, go marry her and look at her face!! This hell is true dude!! hahaha..

Whatever fcuking crap, I think there is several things I love about the marriage, I love the wedding dress,i love wedding's rings, I love crowds with their happy faces celebrating the wedding ceremony and I love oso air sirap orang kawen.. serius shit, it’s so different and very unusual tasty indeed..LOL

I think that’s all. I’ve no idea what to say and say and say... Before I start talking rubbish better I off here. 

me & my cuzzy (aisya) during her wedding.

Congratulations & Happy wedding’s day for my cuzzy and for whoever newly weds else :) I wish you all will be happy ever afta and will be granted with blessing entire life. forget not to make cute babies ya!! daa..

oh God, i cant wait this moment :)

kiss, 

eragadisbiasa