Saturday, June 04, 2011

salam peeps :)
what are u up to huh? me ? 

guess what? Im doing something that I never tot to do before, yess for now I guess.what a fun of having instant kids in just a blink of eye..hehe..of course not biologically kids okay. i'm babysitting for young kids at a taska located in bangi. sound funny aint? the early plan was I used to take over my sista’s role there since she been there about one month right afta she finished her school. so she’s going to further her tesol study in I kinda replace her position by unintended planning. I was bored at home for nothing to do. thus, I think this is good for me get use my times. Actually my parents were doubt about my capability to handle young kids. I admit it. Honestly said, it’s really toughful. 

Since I start my work, I keep on thinking; I have to plan my family no matter what because having kid is not as easy as abc’s. They need loves and attention as accordance to my one week observation. what u think, when u go for work then u leave ur kids to nobody that  u never know who, and u just spend about 5 hours out of 24hr together. What u expect the kids be? That’s why I take this job as serious. Indeed, u need to love them, give attentions to them, comfort them when they get sulked. I feel so pity when look at their faces. They are totally lack of love and being neglected by parent because life is so demanding nowadays. 
During my first day, I’ve shock about how people handle kids. There are 4 permanent workers at the taska. I cant accept the way several workers in there handle young kids. Even me, I will get mad and immediately terminate nursery’s service if I’m the parents for the kids. I don’t know what the proper word to call them. They are such an animal. I wanna shout them stupid old lady if I could. What u expect to 1-3years kids, they are innocent. 

Can u just imagine, for 1 years kids, what they can do for u? They cannt even walk properly or talk in not understandable language but they can understand what we talk to them. Same goes to 2-3years kids..They still cannt talk properly. but u know, what I saw is the old ladies there yell and scold them and brutally slap at kid’s faces to stop their tears. They left kids cry until they get tired in crying and fall asleep. They hold 6 months baby by using one hand and pull the baby’s hand while climb the stairway, sleep during working and just let the kids play among them and they did many more that I cant tell in words. They said they don’t wanna give face to kids, but hey!! they are only 1!! omg!! I feel so touched about what had I saw. I feel scared to send my kids at taska in the future. The old ladies pretend good and do nice in front of parents. seriously, I cant accept this. 

I’m gambled to be myself there even I know maybe some feel annoyed because I love to pamper kids when they cry at me and I comfort them not to cry. I can feel that. They might be hate me because I’m so weak or slow or what. But I cant let this to happen. i feel so upset about these. The taska own by my auntie. I cant report to her since I’m newbie there. i wanna resign and I hope I will find the right time to move out.
so now I see what is the different between educated and uneducated people. They just do work for money, no responsibility and no mercy upon the kids. I wont to do cruel because I don’t want someday God repay me the same to my own children as in return for what had I done before. Now I see how life is all about. Mama is right, once u step ur path out there, u will find many things that u cant never learn it at school. i can never merely trust people even they do nice to you. Doubt is needed. 

so guys out there..i hope u get something from my real story. it's my pleasure to share the truth..whatever here, Allah knows best.

big hugs,

ps: babies are huge send from heaven :)

Saturday, May 07, 2011

ada blog tak?

yes i have.. hit these ! :)

Ask me anything with no regret :)

.:Love letter for mom:.

she's my bestfriend, my heart,  my apple of my eyes & my everything
i feel lost without her smile, her touch and her love
i feel beautiful because of you  
i just wanna be with you through tears, thick and thin and even happiness.

Love letter for u mom

mama, i so mean are the one i cherish the most in entire of my life.
no words can tell but only, i so grateful for having you.

Mama & me
this is truly dedicated for my mom, Fauziah bte Abd Ralip.

Happy mother's day for all mothers in the world


Sunday, March 06, 2011


hello’s been so long I did not drop by here. well, just busy around with student matter as usual. so, what now huh? I think I should brush up my English. you know, practice makes perfect. so, since long time I don’t even write or read any English resources, even touch my unread February edition CLEO magazine, I feel retard writing here..Hahaha..

how are you peeps? what are you guys up to? 

when I said, life is all about try maybe they don’t accept my philosophy about the life. I see life in different dimension; since maybe they don’t either. well, I love to try. even at the smallest things. I can’t deny that I’m an insecure person. I think I’ll just loss my face if i try something new unless I dared to do that. I never had a brave to put any try on racing game with my friends, do crazy move on midnight party, night walking in the jungle, be ridiculous, try exotic foods and whatever. time is too short to try all these. that’s why I just grab everything in front of me and do try everything. hey, move your ass out there and get a life!! I love those words. of course, bcoz I’m the one who create this slogan.  :P

it’s breaking rehab session! I made up my relationship again. that’s awesome! shitt..don’t think so. I’m so scared to say anything. lalala..
yahoo..i’ve got reading for my final year project. Alhamdulillah, everything just went okay so far. I hope it stays smooth until last. well, no more weekend in my life. I’ve to work on lab during leisure even on every weekend. sucks it up. oh gosh…!! dont sigh girl!!erm, you know what, when I see the outcomes, I feel the real satisfaction that I can never tell in words. it just gives me returns for all my efforts. Thank Allah. I should not give up and keep staying the momentum of effort. Allah, bless me :)

but, I so miss my home. I never stay at my ‘jail cell’ too long. at least in 2 weeks I will go back home. so miss my mom’s cooking. but, I’ve no time to pamper myself at home like before. I’ve got so many things to take care of specially my lab works.* crying* I’m sick of these mess. :’(

my heart says, it’s gonna be just fine in a very soon, wishfully. okay guys, I wana start writing my thesis. so, off here.

moaning signal :P

big hugs,

What A Girl Wants

A boy who will hold his girlfriend around the waist and kiss her neck and whisper in her ear ”you’re beautifull”. If his freinds say something nasty about her he will flip. Text her first. Tell her every night he loves her. Texts her good morning beautiful. Makes the effort. Not flirt with other girls. Compliment everything about her. If she wants a hug, hush up and hold her like she is gold.


Friday, February 04, 2011

Bawling for a stupider

late several days ago, I found myself so hard to accept the fact of losing someone. I know everybody feel annoyed because of my love issue. but, I don’t think I got somebody to tell to about my sadness. I only can write here telling what I’m felling.

I stuck on a stupider. I’m tired of giving chance. I’m tired of idea of falling in love. guys are jerk. they just think about their selves, which kind of selfish. they thought they did good enough in standing a relationship. they’ve taken everything for granted even at smallest things. he turned bossy when he never listen what was I said. I fed up with all this mess. I’m sick of trying to love someone. it’s obviously complicated rather than trapping in cross word puzzle. 

when I decided to end off this relationship, he accused me quitter. he said I know nothing but only given up. I broke people’s heart just because of him. then now, how much I feel regret about myself. I’m regret about inability of making decision plus my stupidity of making consideration. I hate of being regret. but, that’s what I feel right now. 

I hate crying for him. I hate when I’ve fallen stupid again and over again. I hate his sorry. I hate that I love him so much. I hate the idea of I can’t resist him to be part of my life. I so hate this feeling. suCks it up!

I wanna walk away without turn around but I’m terrified. I’m terrified of being alone. I’m terrified of being hurted.  even so much time, I ask God to show me the right way. but it seems not good enough because I’m still clueless about the right path. God listens to me but yet he don’t grant me what I’m looking for.  I wish for something better out there. they say that good things take time. but really great things happen in the blink of an eye. *sighing* I hope that’s true. 

I wanna bawl like crazy. but I’m tired of bawling around. I keep of thinking that I deserve a man 10 times nicer than him, smarter than him, even better look than him.  I want a guy who can make me feel secure when I’m tripping alone, when people call me ugly, stupid and insult me at the back. I want a guy who can lead me the right way of islam. be my guidance when I need. aware of my feeling. lend his shoulder during my bad day. I so want these. I won’t ever stop praying and hoping my happiness will come someday. 

after all I’ve been through, I think I’m strong enough to face whatever upcoming tricks of the life. I believe in me myself and I wait for the miracle coming around. Allah, bless me please.

off here,

Sunday, January 16, 2011

second week of school : my girlfriends' insanity

Lying down on bed looking for something dumb to do in the boring Sunday *sigh*.  Since the sun feels shy to shine, I feel so sleepy under my floral pattern blanket covered all day long. I bet it's winter mood in shahlam.. 

Last night I involved in a mission of mortal combat with all my girlfriends. We planned to surprise the subject (Dila) for her birthday. around 3 am we chased  and poured blast of water each other. Seriously crazy!! At the first dila didn’t realize that she was influenced by eni that something was happened to leya. The purpose to drag her to eni’s room ended up with vain attempt when we didn’t even ready to surprise her. haha!! There was miscommunication between me and eni when I got pending message to get ready my army. So, she realized that we wanted to ambush her. She ran away for escape. after moment, we got her and she got blasts of flour juice.*euWw* it was ridiculously fun. Actually we aimed sara too, even she smelled our intention. But, she didn’t get an escape space. She took a revenge to attack us back. At last, everyone was back to rooms in wet outfits. haHaha..  **HaPpy BirthdaY to diLa** 
Whatever it was, they made my day. Thanks to everyone specially to HAniS (the mastermind), eNiey, sheNa, che,SaRa, DiLa, iJaN, LeYa and magfiRah. You guys are so sporting!! I won’t forget that moment. 

Second week of school is going kind of flat. I watched ‘ Antu kak Limah Balik Umah’ movie at Mid. it was my first malay movie I ever watched in 2011. Not bad, the story is full with hilarious scenes from the beginning until the end. My Gfs and I didn’t stop laughing like crazy in the cinema. I think the story is simple and don’t even has motive at all. but the way how the movie present is light and easy to watch by people.  so, I give five stars for Antu kAk limah balik umah. I consider it as Must watch malay movie. so don’t miss to watch it okay!

awie as the co-star

What more I wana tell you guys. oh yess!! During our outing last friday, we accidentally bought 3.4 FL. OZ Ralph Lauren perfume. * im dead if he knows*. my gFs and i bought 3 bottles of perfume for 140 Dollar. even i'm ambiguous about its originality but for me,it's nicely affordable for our daily use perfume i guess.erm.. I oso bought my new purse. It’s just unfamiliar brand. Hehe. It was seriously unintended planning. I love Roxy’s purse. But, maybe I’m not meant to have it, so, I just walked away glancing at the purse from far *sad face*. But it’s okay for me. If I have balance petty money I will get you ROXY!!! 

Those are all about my second week of school. I off here..dada!!

ps: sorry, i cant publish the pics during the outing and during the birthday attack. 

Monday, January 10, 2011

first week of school :)

Welcome back to school. Praise a lot to The Lord, I’d been through the first week of my final semester, though, everything just went okay. The schedule of mine is little bit uncrowded cause of the blank space on Tuesday and Friday class.  so, it’s gonna good opportunity  to escape myself from the hectic student life on every weekend. well,  I love to be at home, so heaven. for this semester, I’m gonna through several subjects including neurobiology, animal behaviour, strategic management, HR study and indeed the most critical which is my final project. Even the least no of subject rather my last sems, but these all are the toughest one for sure. Whatever so, I’ve to maintain the same momentum of efforts upon them. *pftt*

I’m sort of interested about neurobiology study, as what the accordance of the introduction that I’ve been learnt last time, erm… but I guess, there is silver lining of difficulty behind it. indeed, that’s the reason why most of student did not afford to pass this subject at their first sits. hopefully, im not gonna be one of them, scary dude!!

My fyp is running good so far. maybe by next week I can start my first step  which is radiating process in UM. im so grateful because Allah lead me such an easy way for me, after complete several procedures, I  can start my project there. Alhamdulillah..but even so, I’m terrified when thinking about what’s gonna happen during the project or what if the project end up with failure or what if there is no responses during all entire the project. it’s holy crap for sure.  I hope that’s just my ridiculous imagination about my fyp well, maybe of too much worry about it and heavily thinking about ‘what if’ this and that.

I definitely love surprise .you know what, speechlessly, I was shocked about my papa’s bestfriend teach me in the class for strategic mgt subject. though,I’m sort of felt ashamed when he told everyone in the class about who is my dad. actually, I kind of secretive about my family or even about my privacy so I just put my sight down to the floor and  it turned me so blushing a sudden until the end of the class. it was an incredible day I bet. shiTT!!

off here...

kiss, eragdisbiasa.

Monday, January 03, 2011

it's a start

Take a step back. Fucking look at yourself. You are human. You are beautiful. You are so beautiful. And you can be anything. You can be everything. Do not hate everyone because someone broke your heart, or because your best friend betrayed you, or your father hit you, the kid down the street called you skinny, ugly, stupid, worthless. Do not concern yourself with things you cannot control. Cry when you need to, then let go when it’s time. Don’t hang onto painful memories just because you’re afraid to forget. Let go of things that are in the past. Forget things that aren’t worth remembering. Stop taking things for granted. Live for something. Live for yourself. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Fall in love. Fall out of love. Do this over and over until you what it really is to love someone. Question things. Tell people how you really feel. Sleep under the stars. Create. Imagine. Inspire. Share something wonderful. Meet new people. Make someone’s day. Follow your dreams. Live your life to it’s full potential. Just live, dammit. Let go of all of the horrible in your life and fucking live. dont forget to be awesome. one day, when you’re old, look back with no regrets.