Friday, December 31, 2010

Hello 2011 & Farewell 2010

Aloha everyone!!

How are you guys doin? Hopefully, it’s always good. hey, it’s last Friday of 2010. So, this is the time for us to farewell the 2010 and be ready in gratefulness for the New Year. Unfortunately, I’m not so well today because of the slightly flu *AcUMM* and it signs me that I’m goin to get fever very soon. I guess all the pains would kiss away all sins that I’ve committed throughout this year, hopefully *evil grin*. 

2010 left me with Unforgettable moments, though, I not so remember and unable to recap every single part of each. Well, its serious forgetful era… :)

But I never forget the chaos in my friendship chapter when we fought and broke the relationship and ended up with three of us against a single lonely girl *OpSS!!*. Friendship mean everything for me, even it gives me least. When I rethink about that, it supposed not happen because it must be tough for her to stand alone even she’d mistaken and will be punished because of her ego. Maybe this is the tit for tat of her faults or maybe its just a sign from The Lord to lead us for someone whom insincere in our relationship. at first, we expected she could realize and do apologize by the right, but she might think that she’s right. I hate this feeling; it’s so unpleasant and tremendously painful. I hope we’re goin back like before through thick and thin together as friend.i miss all the moments we were together laught at nothing and people call us insane. i so miss it!!

My sista is pregnant and will be delivered the baby on April next year. As the accordance of scanning shows, I’m going to have a nephew.. yahoo!! I wish everything gonna be smooth and safe. 

Last week, I did celebrated my along, mama, epit and isya birthday. that was so happening.  As usual, we made it at secret recipe, having the dinner and small gathering. it’s been so long time ago I haven’t spend time with all my siblings since everyone has their own family to look after at and migrates from papa’s house, build new family like they have now. Whatever it takes I’m so grateful for having them around even we’re from moderate family but still cherish the happiness. Praise to Allah for all I’ve get.

White choc SR

that's your birthday guys!!

my FamiLy & me (right side)

My love story is sort of dramatic and ridiculously sucks. Sometime we were happy but other time we fought for the silly things. In awhile, I feel so loving him very much but other time I turned so monster *coy smile*. Maybe of the distance make we felt unease to be apart for long duration of time or maybe I’m just a little needy to wish him always be by my side. Now, I’m sure we’re over even he refused the fact so harsh. It’s maybe undeniable because maybe I was so mad at him at that moment thus make me pretty reckless stand for this decision. Whatever happens, I leave it to Allah, and I so hope everything’s gonna be better in time.

My Love story

I don’t like the idea of fYp (final year project). I did complete the proposal matter, and the result returned me such a vain attempt, though *sigh*. I have to work harder next semester to gain even better result since the project consist of six credit hour. That’s quite tough, dude. 

 **mY Mock deTerminatioNs**

Instead of having DSLR and travel abroad, I wish if there are something better await in the 2010, all my wishes will come true and i will be granted with blessing in everything I do. I also wish to be better person and be able to give good deeds to everyone.*wiNk*

Whatever it takes let bygone be bygone. Okay guys, I hope these all are enough. I wish you guys make this New Year as the starting point to move on better. So, never look back because whatever happened in the past makes you who are you now. so, then wave your hands to 2010, thus with no hesitate let's start the new chapter of life. Cheer guys!!

Happy New Year. Farewell 2010 & hello 2011!! Have a new fresh start everyone!

Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Tired of being tired

I don’t have idea why we keep arguing about even the smallest things. I hate when he turned to bossy and felt he was right in all ways. I hate when he yelled to me because of my wrongs. I hate when he turned so nice when asking me favours or he intended something to me. I hate him so much. I really am right now. I feel like I won’t back to him because he ridiculed himself to hurt me again and over again. i’m feeling terribly upset about our relationship like nothing can to do to work it out. I must take decision whether to move on or stay and give chance for many times I guess. if I bailed him, im not sure if I can go through myself alone plus next year is my final year, it would be unusual tougher. I’m terrified if I can't let him go by thinking of our golden memories in every single day of woe. I’m afraid of losing him when I can’t be myself in front of others but only him. I’m afraid that I’ve no one to cry at when I really need someone. It freaks me when I’m thinking I will be such a loner even there is many friends of mine around then I have to grin in  cry. maybe I can’t stand these in short time, then I will recover in time. it must be temporary insanity when I have to be alone for while. whatever it takes, I’ve really given up about us, about your lies, about your temper, about your fake, and everything about you. this time I should be firmer about my decision and never look back. I maybe forgive him but I really mean when I said, we’re definitely over.
I’m tired of being sad. I’m tired of crying. I’m tired of feeling empty inside. I’m tired of feeling worthless. I’m tired of feeling stuck. I’m tired of feeling crazy. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of yelling. I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of dreaming of a life I will never have. I’m tired of missing things. I’m tired of missing people. I’m tired of remembering. I’m tired of wishing I could start all over. I’m tired of not being able to just let go. I’m tired of faking it. I’m tired of being different. I’m tired of being angry. I’m tired of needing help. I’m tired of always wondering when God is finally going to let me be happy. Most of all, I’m just tired of being tired.

Allah, I wish u for blessing and strength, show me if I’ve wronged.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

No money No marry

Peep 1 : I decide to get marry at 25.
Peep 2 : That’s too young peep, I think it’d be better older, maybe at 28. what do you think?
Peep 1 : Oh crap! 

What hell is wrong with number,dude? I’ve wondered why people so terrified talking about marriage in early age. if the monetary problem doesn't bother you, so what're you waiting for,right? Well, I do believe in destiny. If God asked me to get marry now, that will be fine for me. I believe whatever sake that God decided for us, it might has reasons. 

But honestly, I’m not game to hold any commitments yet, waking up early in every morning (I hate morning people) , cooking meals for breakfast plus lunch plus supper (kitchen is the scariest place I ever been), entertain hubby after working (my fav part..hehe), these all need huge sacrifice. But I don’t mind if I've destined that way. Talking about the young marriage this is no biggie, but there must some conditions apply, stability is the most important thing that must be considerated, in term of financial specially, the readiness to uphold responsibilities and the willingness to accept each other whether good or bad. Additional for my partner, he must has high patience level. Well, everybody had their annoyance stuffs.. :) So do I am..hehehe.. *Showleey HubbY*

I’m not so sure about marriage meaning actually. I am terrified too. Marriage is not only on piece of paper, everybody desires to stay together forever and ends up happily ever afta whateve it takes. *sigh* Amongst my schoolmate, one by one have already ended their single life. Maybe they were just so lucky to find their soulmate. Omg!! I can’t imagine what’s gonna happen if I am a wife for a man. it’ll disaster for sure. Breathless, I shouldn’t have that kinda thought. This is fcuking scary!!

Guys!! here’s one biggest secret every man must know, the prettiest and fabulous moment for a woman in her life is during the wedding’s day. if you don’t believe me, go marry her and look at her face!! This hell is true dude!! hahaha..

Whatever fcuking crap, I think there is several things I love about the marriage, I love the wedding dress,i love wedding's rings, I love crowds with their happy faces celebrating the wedding ceremony and I love oso air sirap orang kawen.. serius shit, it’s so different and very unusual tasty indeed..LOL

I think that’s all. I’ve no idea what to say and say and say... Before I start talking rubbish better I off here. 

me & my cuzzy (aisya) during her wedding.

Congratulations & Happy wedding’s day for my cuzzy and for whoever newly weds else :) I wish you all will be happy ever afta and will be granted with blessing entire life. forget not to make cute babies ya!! daa..

oh God, i cant wait this moment :)


Thursday, December 09, 2010

Oh cinderera

Prince, take me away with this ride

I don’t know, even the smallest thing can do matters. What’s wrong with my name? owh Yes, cinderera is made up from combination of Cinderella and my name, era. Maybe im not deserve at all to use that kinda name. Everybody wish to have cinderella's heart. She’s one of the well known charming princess whom kind-hearted and almost perfect in anyways. I am a princess to0, no doubt about that. Love her characters actually; even they’re so far away than mine. Indeed, if I say I do jealous with her because she met her prince. I love the idea of glass heel, pumpkin ride, cute friendly animals and fairy mother and her magic stick, instead of bullying step mother and step sistas. Even that’s only a fairy tale which being part of bedtime story since I was young, but it’s so wishful if it comes true to me. im not sure where is the part I love most, but I resemble her in one thing, there is I have kinda tiny foot. Nobody can share my shoes but only me. Do you remember the moment where the Prince looked for the best fit for the cinderella’s glass heel left at the ball hall. Only Cinderella’s feet was the best match for that glass heel even after so many people were struggling to fit it. haHAhaha..This hell is hilarious ain’t it? but, fucking serious. This is how I derived the cinderera name. oPpss!! I hope you guys clear about that okay. I wish to be part of fairy tale because those are only perfect things in their life, the prince who will risk his life for the princess, bring her far away towards happiness and the happy ever after at the end of the story. errmm, so0 sweet~

Monday, December 06, 2010

Salam maal hijrah 1432

Salam Maal Hijrah to all my dearest Muslim Readers. May this new year brings much more better to me, us and everybody! Another year given to us to be a better muslimah. =)

Sunday, December 05, 2010

The world is not only about me

That’s maybe right when the world is not only about me, because

im not the one the world must know about,
not the one you care so much,
not the one can play you songs,
not the one can kiss away your pains,
not the one everyone can count on,
not the one inspire you the idea of loving,
not the one you must call every before sleep,
not the one all the time can say the truth,
not the one of  little innocent princess,
not the one can cook for meals,
not the one can avoid the reckless things,
not the one can lend the shoulder for you cry on,
not the one can do magic,
not the one can be trusted,
not the one who can merely stop my ritual habit,
not the one can remember every single moment,
not the one can stand silly things,
not the one can maintain my confidence,
not the one can keep my mad away,
not the one can voice out my thought, 
not the one who easily hate people,
not the one can say no to shopping, 
not the one can shine the stars.

Now i realize what people saying was so true. The world is not only about me and it wont never change any. So, i move on.

Friday, December 03, 2010

i'm jealous of girls that

  • are naturally beautiful. 
  • make silly faces and still look cute. 
  • eat as much as they want but they don’t get weight.
  • look cute in “bummy” clothes. 
  • have a flawless face, no pimples or blemishes.
  • have beauty and brains. 
  • have boobs.

Wednesday, December 01, 2010

hi there

Hi guy.. It’s been so long I don’t put a touch here. Well, holiday screws my idea.  Do you play your favourite songs for many times until you’re getting bore? so do I am. Songs  inspire me even can recover my moody during my bad day. Indeed, English song is my priority that been chosen as my favourite one. I’m not kinda an arrogant to not listen to malay or others language song, but I’m feeling much ease listening to English one.  Maybe it’s just so into me at this moment. my currently playlists are one in a million by Neyo, beautiful monster by Neyo, perfect two by Auburn, if I die young, littlest thing by lily allen. I love to listen at the song that describes exactly how I feel even also don’t mind at any other kind of music that can easy hear by ears. I love to play it many times until i get boring. I do love oso this one of Malay song. Do you ever listen to Cukup Indah song by Alif Satar? The lyric is fucking sweet. It nicely describes how the singer so adores her lover and feels the heavenly happiness when be with her. The easy through of this song also makes me feel like I wanna be his lover…LOL. fullstop talking about the music and lets move on.

My holiday is goin so flat. Doing the routine chores, eating at the time, finish my movie stocks, listening to mama’s nag, sleeping as much as I want and wasting time in front of my laptop, these are usual the schedule of mine now. Eventho my parents have a planning to ALOHA at Cameron Highland and going off to JB, but I’m not sure when will the time come. Since my dad have a lot of things to be done, and go outstation nowhere, maybe it takes quite longer of time. Well so, I never mind and I understand it. No regret for being at home because my single days are just so wonderful with home entertainment from my super sengal sistas. That’s normal for us if had so called arguments and fighting like cat and dog, but it doesn’t break our bloody relationship at all. My youngest sista always do annoying things. I know the rest feel the same like I do. We let her be because we know maybe she just an immature kid whom unable to think properly. My little Hawe dropped by last day and stayed here for several days. She’s sort of my parents’ adopted child cause my mom looked after her since she was baby. I dont know why she cant see people with a long hair. She will afford to find hair bands and do hair styles at everyone and poor me for been one of her victims. Freaking Weird girl.

me & my little hawe

this my new hairdo by hawe

I hope you guys enjoy your holiday as much as hell okay. Move your ass out there and just do whatever you want. Have a nice day everyone :D


Sunday, November 28, 2010

Things that hurt

Being unsure of how someone feels about you.
Feeling like they are mad at you.
Being misunderstood by people you care about.
Being judged by people you care about.
Feeling like you lost something that was never yours.
Feeling like you’re doing too much.
Thinking you aren’t doing enough.
Not knowing if you should say something.
Worried about what they’ll think if you do say it.
Feeling like you care more than they do.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

middle finger up

i hate people who thinks they know everything. what the hell they showed off like got no ass. fucks it up and get stuffed dude..whore is worth you then.*middle finger up*


LoVE never Dies

girl: your new girlfriend is pretty. (i bet she stole your heart)
boy: yeah, she is. (but you’re still the most beautiful girl i know)
girl: i heard she’s funny & amazing. (all the stuff i wasn’t)  
boy: she sure is. (but she’s nothing compared to you) 
girl: i bet you know everything about her by now (like how you knew just about everything about me) 
boy: only the stuff that count (i can’t even remember the stuff she tells me when i think of you) 
girl: well, I hope you guys last. (because we never did) 
boy: i hope we do too. (whatever happened to me & you?) 
girl: well i got to go. (before i start to cry)  
boy: yeah me too. (i hope you don’t cry) 
girl: bye. (i still love you)
boy: later. (i never stopped) 

love shouldn't be like this

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

i made my day..Ss problem

kiss my ass please

me & my upcoming car
 i have no idea why i put these both of pics..haha..saje2 xde keje

Monday, November 22, 2010

Sucks it up!!

hey..i went to mid valley mall KL in the morning today.well, it should be unintended planning coz my laziness just been so greater than usual, well it's holiday's happier if i spend time hugging my bloster under the comforter cover and dont need to be morning people..fucking hate being morning people..haha..but ofkosh i was for today, my mom ordered me to be an escort for my little sista~isya & leha~ that was no big deal since i was having fun there too and moving my ass for the first time since the school holiday been started.
walking aimless in the mall is kinda a suck activity huh..i hate looking to the loving couples around. cuddling here and there. jelous!! of course!!!sucks it boo stays too far from me.well, he's oso so-called family man whom like no balls cant go anyway after put his ass at home.that what makes me mad alots.i hate when he cant to be real just the way he is.come on are 21..i cant even call him when he's in front of his family, he tend to be so covered-person and cranky indeed.what the hell are you acting like that trying to understand the situation, and i am working soo hard into it, but we still keep having arguing & fighting & yada3 like no ways to work it out.i hate him this and ok to say byebye but depth in my heart still missing him.i never felt before with my've fallen me crazee!!i hate this feeling and this is fucking true!
arghh..i just leave everything to God. feeling like i wanna be single at the moment.enjoy my life and having good time.maybe we just need some time to miss each other. screw you! if u cant let it why dont you appriciate it.sometime i wanna curse you into stone because you have least different like a stone!so numb and whatever resembles it! sucks it up!


i hate

  • When I get jealous.
  • When I know im getting lied to.
  • When I get used.
  • When I’m an option.
  • When I know I don’t have a chance with the person I like.
  • When I get a blunt reply from someone who means more to me than what I mean to them. 
  • When I’m fighting with a bestfriend.
  • When I don’t trust anyone but myself.
  • When my mom turns super saiyan on me. LOL.
  • When someone cancels something at the last minute.
  • When I study my ass off, and get a bad score.
  • When people walk like a freaking snail.
  • People who keep complaining. 
  • “Eugh. I can’t believe I got 98% on my Maths test” Stop rubbing it in. You got yourself an A, and you’re still not happy with that? Go drown yourself in your tears, you whiny son of a bitch. 
  • When people say, “Talk to me!” Honeh’, I am talking to you. You’re just putting in half the effort.
  • When people jump to conclusions. Don’t make assumptions, or I’ll happily fly kick your face. 
  • Violence against women. Wow, how low can you get? Learn how to treat a girl with respect.
  • Or just violence in general.seems like im so loving*winkwink*
  • People who think they’re bloody the book of knowledge. Please shut the fuck up, Mr and Mrs Know-it-all. 
  • Boys who take 3 hours+ to get ready.
  • Tag a longs. Stop being a sheep.
  • When people do not know how to reblog.Its a few simple clicks. Surely it can’t be that hard. Its not rocket science.
  • People who bring me down, just to bring themselves up.
  • Racism.
  • Kids who have no respect for their parents. What so ever.
  • Girls who flaunt their body to the world wide web. Ok, we all know you have a good body. But please, this is getting ridiculous. Take your pictures some place else.
  • Robert Patterson. - No you do not dazzle me, you sparkly maniac. You look like a horse. Please jump off a cliff.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Painful part

i think i've bad intense feeling..not sure how serious is it..but it's tremendously painful..
i feel like i hve no one and really need my mama right not sure what’s actually going on.since my final started and i spent a lot of time at home, everything turns so weird after that. my so-called bestfriends dont even care about me. seriously i’m clueless what makes they keep out of reach of me. i gave my best shot i guess. that was shame on me to say sorry for every single mistakes i did.pretty reckless so do i sometime my words would hurt people, but everytime i recalled back myself and did apologize. my every single days are just wonderful with my smile in not sure if these thing are going up due to jelousy issue or what??..sigh.. i try to let it as ignorant as possible because i've one more paper to go.. i miss my bestfriend nina. i miss every moment we spent together-through thick and thin just like twinny, we’d been scolded by nina’s mom for our ridiculous. the most memory that i never forget, we were lying down on street during midnight under the moon light and kept promise to stay forever as best friend. i was regret for losing her contact  for several years  since i knew im the one who caused her to do so. sorry nina if i know that would happen, i never let you even know him. feeling like empty right now.well, i wish i could further my master abroad so i dont need to stand with all kinda nonsences.hopefully, i gonna fix it as possible as i can. friend means much to me even it is just only littlest something to think about.i love you guys no matter how much i hurt..


Monday, November 01, 2010

.: if i die young :.

 i hate listening to the sad song. But this song really touches my soul. it is an incredible and beautiful song.When I first listened to the song, the message didn't quite make it through. It was an inviting melody, and easy to sing along, but it wasn't until I watched the video that I realized the deeper meaning behind those carefully written lyrics. this song gives the idea that no one knows how much longer they have in this life so be optimistic and cherish it while you can.The country genre of this song makes me doubled my passion to listen this song again and again. My Mr hasiF is the one who introduce me this. Thanks luV..Frankly, i really love it.

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
oh oh oh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I’ll shine down on my mother
She'll know I’m safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and
Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no
ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

And I’ll be wearing white when I come into your kingdom
I’m as green as the ring on my little cold finger
I’ve never known the lovin' of a man
But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand
There’s a boy here in town says he’ll love me forever
Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls
What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no I’ll sell them for a dollar
They're worth so much more after I’m a goner
And maybe then you’ll hear the words I been singin’
Funny when you're dead how people start listenin’

If I die young bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song
oh oh

The ballad of a dove
Go with peace and love
Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket
Save them for a time when your really gonna need 'em oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

So put on your best boys and I’ll wear my pearls